RULE #1 - AWARENESS IS KEY

Never say, “It’ll never happen to me.”

Knowing the circumstances that led to a person’s victimization can help you understand the crime could happen again, perhaps to you or someone you know. Simply arming yourself with that awareness can help you fight against any dangers that may lie ahead.

Scared Safe NOW, Inc. says, “If we had a nickel for every time a victim we interviewed for a news story that told us, ‘I never thought it would happen to me.’ We’d have a warehouse full of Louis Vuitton bags.” The words, “It will never happen to me”, have become more than just a phrase but a mindset for many women. Awareness can help stomp out the mentality that makes so many women forget they too can fall victim.

Media coverage of the rapist, Robert Bruce Trottman of Central Florida emphasizes the importance of why awareness needs to be key in women’s personal safety. Trottman banked on the fact that women would open their doors to a stranger. His long list of victims proved him right, they too never thought it would happen to them. One victim said when Trottman rang her doorbell and she could not see anyone through the peephole, she says,  “I thought it was UPS because they drop packages off to me every day because of my job.” It was with that parting thought that the victim unlocked the door and opened it to an experience that would change her life.

See, it’s that easy. Now, that you are aware of what Trottman did, learn from this story. When a stranger comes knocking…

• ALWAYS check the peephole. If you don’t see anyone, DO NOT open your door.
• Talk through the door FIRMLY asking who it is.
• Don’t think opening the door while leaving the chain latched will help. Most chains can be kicked in.

How many woman honestly believe that a serial rapist will come knocking at their door in broad daylight? Trottman’s victims didn’t believe it either. Remember, awareness is key.

RULE #2 - USE THE FEAR FACTOR

Fear is a gut feeling, don’t ignore it.

If you know something’s not right than trust it and move forward by trying everything to get out of the situation. If it turns out to be nothing, that’s okay. Misunderstandings can be explained and worked out later. But a cop explaining your rape or something even worse, to your family is a whole lot harder for you or your loved ones to take.

Take for example, the story of a rape victim in Orlando, FL who now uses her tragedy as a platform to help influence legislation protecting rape victims. Local and national media covered her crusade. In an interview with Scared Safe NOW, Inc., the rape survivor told of the one thing that she was most surprised about after the heinous crime was committed against her.

The victim says, “I had the gut feeling but ignored it! I remember thinking, ‘It’s not the best thing to leave the door open.’ The survivor went on to tell us, “That message was out in the universe but I just wasn’t listening.”

To this day, she can not believe how much she ignored the fear factor she felt in the moments leading up to the attack that took place inside her apartment. She was returning home from her complex’s laundry room. The woman, lived alone and left her apartment door unlocked while she made the quick run. In the few minutes she was gone, the rapist entered her home and laid in wait until she returned and attacked. Like so many others, that victim said, “I never thought it would happen to me.” 

She regrets ignoring the fear factor, don’t let it happen to you.

RULE #3 - FIGHT YOUR INNER WOMAN

Do NOT let the part of your inner woman that tells you it’s rude to assert an attitude when a stranger approaches get the best of you.

As women, our morals tell us being kind to strangers is a character booster.  It’s from the “sugar and spice and everything nice” school of thought where girls are taught, from a young age, to always be nice and sympathetic. But if there is anything dozens of rapists and serial killers have taught us it’s that we need to fight that part of our inner woman. Though YOU may have the best intentions, the “nice guy” who asks for your help may not. 

Take for example, a tactic that notorious serial killer, Ted Bundy practiced to entice women into letting their guard down. He not only utilized his good looks and charm, but he would play on the sympathies of women by wearing a fake arm or leg cast.  He would ask them to help carry his books, or to help him start his car.  Sometimes he would ask them to help him lift his sailboat on his car.  That right there should have raised an important red flag: lifting heavy objects is a favor you’d ask from a man, not a woman, and at least one woman avoided becoming Ted’s next victim by telling him she wasn’t strong enough to help move the boat. That is all it took to head off a monster, whether she knew it or not at the time. 
QUICK TIPS:

• It’s easy to feel sympathy for the helpless stranger who claims to need your help, but are they really in need or a predator in disguise? One way to help without putting yourself at risk is by grabbing another passerby, preferably a man, and asking him to help the stranger.  You’re still safe and a good deed is done (or a possibly dangerous situation is avoided).
• Ask yourself these questions, does his request for help sound a little off, such as asking you to lift a heavy object, or asking you to go somewhere else to help him? Did he single you out when there were plenty of other people to ask?  Many attacks are preceded by questions such as "Do you have the time?" or "Can I ask you a question?", or "Do you know how to get to ...?" Never stop to answer such questions. As soon as someone makes you stop he has taken control of the situation.

• Consider EVERY face a threat.
• Don't assume a stranger who says he needs your help is harmless.
• Likewise, don't assume a stranger who offers to help is harmless.

RULE #4 - VERBAL AND MENTAL JUDO™

Say whatever you can to diffuse the situation.

Don’t hold back. If you have to yell, then yell. Or, say what you think is comforting or calming to the attacker if  that buys you time to get away safely. This has proved to be a helpful tool for some women faced by situations with potential for victimization.

In one high profile case. A man had just escaped from a courthouse in Atlanta, GA after shooting a court bailiff to death, and made his way to a woman’s apartment to hide out. He held that woman against her will for hours.

The woman was faced with not knowing whether she would live, die or be sexually assaulted and decided to get a conversation going with her captor about spiritual and philosophical subjects covered in a book she read titled, The Purpose Driven Life. It worked. The discussion, made the suspect calm down, care about the well being of his captive, and eventually allowing her to leave unhurt.

Another similar news story, is one that Scared Safe NOW, Inc. founder, Charnel Wright covered as a reporter back in 2005. It took place, at a woman’s apartment in a suburb of Birmingham, AL. The young woman had come home to a burglary in progress. The suspect, immediately tied her up, ordered her to sit down and threatened to kill her if she screamed. The 21-year-old woman, who just weeks before had moved out on her own for the first time, said in a panic, “I’m pregnant! Please, don’t hurt me. Take anything you want!” The woman recalled the burglar’s response, “He said, ‘I have a son, don’t worry. I won’t hurt you.’”  The suspect then made the woman get inside a closet and told her not to move until she was sure he was had left. The truth is, the woman, was NOT pregnant. She just had the where-with-all to say she was so she could somehow gain sympathy from the suspect.

The women in both these cases, believed that they would have faced physical harm if they did not use these tactics. Verbal and Mental Judo™  works! Don’t ever be afraid to use it.

RULE #5 - CUTE BUT NOT SAFE™

Sorry ladies acrylic nails are cute but not safe.

If there should come a point that you are confronted by an attacker, acrylic nails may work against you in several ways:

1. The thicker they are, the harder it is to cause a suspect pain when you scratch them.
2. Also, because acrylic nails do not dig in as much when you scratch someone, keep in mind they lesson the chances of getting DNA under the nails. In these days of the key investigative tool, forensic science, the lack of DNA evidence can work against finding the attacker and thus getting him or her off the streets.

We suggest, get rid of the acrylic nails, and use nail hardening products on your natural nails. Products like, Nail Tek or, Nail Tique (can be found in almost any drugstore or supermarket) are highly recommended. Trust us. Try it, you’ll see harder, healthier, and safer nails all around!  

RULE #6 - STAY ONE STEP AHEAD

Safe Calls are key.

Ladies going out on a first date or tenth can benefit from using Safe Calls. It’s a system that will not only help you out of a dangerous situation but give your friends and family piece of mind as well.

1. Work out a Safe Call system with that friend or family member by first, designating certain times during the date that you will either call or text message them. That is the first line of defense, if they don’t hear from you than they know to call you and check up.
2. In your Safe Calls, designate a specific phrase which you can say or text that is “code” for: I’M OKAY. This code phrase can be anything (ie. “Give mom a kiss for me.” Or “Give the cat a hug.”), just as long as you make sure your Safe Calls Buddy is fully aware of the specific phrase you choose.
3. Then, pick another phrase that is “code” to your Safe Calls Buddy for: I’M NOT OKAY.

Lastly, work out a plan for what happens if you give them the I’M NOT OKAY code phrase. Most importantly, make it clear that the first step then is for your Safe Calls Buddy to call 911.